Fire

Announcement about fire drill being canceled due to snow
Teacher: "Good, good. I hope whenever we have a real fire it's conveniently canceled because it's snowing outside, then life would be perfect."

Over the past few days

Guy named Brian: "So my dad said, (in a manly voice) 'Brian, if you played football for a team what positon would you play?'"
Guy named Brian again in an excited voice: Cheerleader!

Girls gossiping about a boyfriend and girlfriend getting into a fight with teacher sitting behind desk obviously listening in
Teacher: Shut up! Really? The new girl?
Girls: Yes!
Teacher: Oh my god, shut up!

Kid in class talking when teacher is talking
Teacher: James! Knock it off, you're annoying me.

From last Friday

Guy walking down the language hallway to other person: "Mitch! Mitch my big old bitch, What's up?!"

On the bus in reference to some Middle School kids who are trying to sit in the back with the High Schoolers; "Barry, (the bus driver) we got a little Mexican hoppin' the border again!"