From the past week or so

Teenage boy in class: "I work on our farm, I live in a hell hole."

Girl: "I thought you were going to get us kicked out of the movie theater!"
Boy (explaining what happened): "Dude picked up his phone at the movie and didn't have any signal. I started laughing at him and told him he shouda had verizon."

Boy working on group project trying to read paper: "Hm, so Massachusetts made shoes, paper and....pricks?"
Other boy trying to help read paper: "No, no..not pricks..."

Teacher explaining project in which students must buy/bring in a stamp: "If you don't have 43 cents for a stamp then go through your couch or your dryer. I'm sure you can find 43 cents there."
Student question: "Could you beg for 43 cents on a street corner?"
Teacher: "No, you may not beg on the street for 43 cents. You may also not do anything to get 43 cents."
(girl mumbles): "I'd charge a lot more than 43 cents..."
Student again: "If I was begging on the street for 43 cents would you give it to me?"
Teacher: "No...I'd probably just lock my doors and drive away really fast."

Don't be a hatin'

Teacher#1 to a passing student she has in class: Hola!
(student mumbles an hola back)
Teacher #1 to another teacher: He really hates my class...

So, your penis is also a skateboard?

Boy #1 in class to boy #2: So, my friend has skateboard that he calls squeaky penis
Boy #2: What the fuck?