Amen

Guy to one of his friends coming out of class: I'm proud of myself, I threw a cat 2,000 feet today

Hallway and Health Class discussions

Boy: Ow, my nipple!
Boy again: Yeah, that's right, I said nipple.

Health Class Teacher: Now we're going to talk about love. . . and sex, sometimes men get these two things confused.

Health Class Teacher: Okay, ladies and gentlemen, you need to take out your penis today.

Health Class Teacher: Yes women can rape men too. I mean, *points to chest* I'm not particularly afraid of being raped.

Teacher giving midterm: Any questions before we start, except for do we really have to do this?
Student #2: Do we really have to do this?

*Teacher explaining how to cite personal interviews, phone interviews, and email interviews in a research paper*
Student #1 (with a completely straight face): What do we do if we have a telegraph interview?
Teacher: I don't find you funny.

Senior Boy #1: I can't fucking wait until June 9th! I can't wait to graduate!
Senior Boy #2: It's June 12th, not the 9th.
Senior Boy #1: Oh fuck that. I want to graduate now. I don't want to wait anymore. I don't care if I have to go to summer school, I want to fucking graduate. Wait, can you go to summer school as a Senior?
Senior Boy #2: Uh, yeah you can go to summer school as a Senior.
Senior Boy #1: Alright, well I don't care if I have to go to summer school, I'm fucking graduating. June 12th, baby!

Another night

girl: why were you stripping in science class?
boy: *sounds annoyed* I wasn't stripping!

Teacher: Coronary Heart Disease can lead to a heart attack and also angina. Now notice that is angina not vagina. Do not write vagina on your test.

Teacher talking about bullying: I became a teacher to protect the poor and innocent! Yes!

Guy to other Guy: Sup Hannah Montana?

Teacher: Did anyone print out the career packets last night at home?
Class:( some mumble yes others mumble no)
Student #1: I browsed careers last night.
Teacher to student #1: Did you see that hey had a lot to offer?
Student #1: I was disappointed to see that they didn't have serial killer listed.
Teacher to student #1: I'd hope not.

From the past week or so

Teenage boy in class: "I work on our farm, I live in a hell hole."

Girl: "I thought you were going to get us kicked out of the movie theater!"
Boy (explaining what happened): "Dude picked up his phone at the movie and didn't have any signal. I started laughing at him and told him he shouda had verizon."

Boy working on group project trying to read paper: "Hm, so Massachusetts made shoes, paper and....pricks?"
Other boy trying to help read paper: "No, no..not pricks..."

Teacher explaining project in which students must buy/bring in a stamp: "If you don't have 43 cents for a stamp then go through your couch or your dryer. I'm sure you can find 43 cents there."
Student question: "Could you beg for 43 cents on a street corner?"
Teacher: "No, you may not beg on the street for 43 cents. You may also not do anything to get 43 cents."
(girl mumbles): "I'd charge a lot more than 43 cents..."
Student again: "If I was begging on the street for 43 cents would you give it to me?"
Teacher: "No...I'd probably just lock my doors and drive away really fast."

Don't be a hatin'

Teacher#1 to a passing student she has in class: Hola!
(student mumbles an hola back)
Teacher #1 to another teacher: He really hates my class...

So, your penis is also a skateboard?

Boy #1 in class to boy #2: So, my friend has skateboard that he calls squeaky penis
Boy #2: What the fuck?